Sec. of Defense Pete Hegseth Mistakenly Deported to Malta for "Gang Tattoo"
Wife Will Continue to Run the Defense Department
HOT GLOBE FOLLIES SPECIAL EDITION
Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was mistakenly deported to the island of Malta in the Mediterranean after being detained while bathing in the Rio Grand River on the Texas/Mexico border when he wandered from an ICE raid Tuesday. His Maltese Cross tattoo with irregular upturned points was mistaken for a gang tattoo.
“We have no gangs in Malta,” protested Godfrey Carmel Xuerub, Malta’s ambassador to the US. “It’s a tourist destination with clear blue waters and ancient culture.”
“That cross is a Crusader’s symbol,” said Stephen Miller, Whitehouse Deputy Chief of Staff. “I didn’t get it at first but that doesn’t mean he can come back anytime soon. He can swim. I think. Pete’s wife Jennifer will continue to run the department for him, as before. She was his producer at FOX after all.”
“This multicultural hellhole is 4000 years old!” an angry Hegseth posted on his open Signal channel. “It’s more DEI than California!”
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Meanwhile in Ventura County, California, a Venezuelan gang leader posing as a female strawberry picker was chased across an open field by two courageous ICE officers.
“If this keeps up,” said a press officer for the California Farm Bureau, “you better get used to blueberries. I can’t afford to hire citizens. They won’t work for minimum wage, and they can’t stoop.”
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Back at the Whitehouse, after issuing orders not to go after agricultural, restaurant, and especially hotel workers, in response to pleas from Republican donors of these businesses, President Trump again changed his mind Sunday evening, stating on Truth Social:
“We must expand efforts to detain and deport Illegal Aliens in America’s largest Cities, such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, where Millions upon Millions of Illegal Aliens reside.”
“We’ll get around to Ft. Worth and Tampa in about, like, 10 years, after my third term,” the President added, off-camera.
For those HOT GLOBE readers who in the interests of their own mental health have never read one of the President’s cogent, well-thought out and highly empathetic rants on Truth Social, take a gander:
@realDonaldTrump
Our Nation’s ICE Officers have shown incredible strength, determination, and courage as they facilitate a very important mission, the largest Mass Deportation Operation of Illegal Aliens in History. Every day, the Brave Men and Women of ICE are subjected to violence, harassment, and even threats from Radical Democrat Politicians, but nothing will stop us from executing our mission, and fulfilling our Mandate to the American People. ICE Officers are herewith ordered, by notice of this TRUTH, to do all in their power to achieve the very important goal of delivering the single largest Mass Deportation Program in History.
In order to achieve this, we must expand efforts to detain and deport Illegal Aliens in America’s largest Cities, such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, where Millions upon Millions of Illegal Aliens reside. These, and other such Cities, are the core of the Democrat Power Center, where they use Illegal Aliens to expand their Voter Base, cheat in Elections, and grow the Welfare State, robbing good paying Jobs and Benefits from Hardworking American Citizens. These Radical Left Democrats are sick of mind, hate our Country, and actually want to destroy our Inner Cities — And they are doing a good job of it! There is something wrong with them. That is why they believe in Open Borders, Transgender for Everybody, and Men playing in Women’s Sports — And that is why I want ICE, Border Patrol, and our Great and Patriotic Law Enforcement Officers, to FOCUS on our crime ridden and deadly Inner Cities, and those places where Sanctuary Cities play such a big role. You don’t hear about Sanctuary Cities in our Heartland!
I want our Brave ICE Officers to know that REAL Americans are cheering you on every day. The American People want our Cities, Schools, and Communities to be SAFE and FREE from Illegal Alien Crime, Conflict, and Chaos. That’s why I have directed my entire Administration to put every resource possible behind this effort, and reverse the tide of Mass Destruction Migration that has turned once Idyllic Towns into scenes of Third World Dystopia. Our Federal Government will continue to be focused on the REMIGRATION of Aliens to the places from where they came, and preventing the admission of ANYONE who undermines the domestic tranquility of the United States.
To ICE, FBI, DEA, ATF, the Patriots at Pentagon and the State Department, you have my unwavering support. Now go, GET THE JOB DONE! DJT
ReTruths 50.4k Likes
Pass the martinis, Melania, and get your Canadian visa ready, folks!
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Let’s close with a pointed phrase from a REAL “REAL AMERICAN,” Sen. Ron Wyden of Oregon, this in regard to the upcoming cuts in Medicaid, food stamps, and the health insurance that 14 million Americans will lose if the President’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” passes, along with vastly reduced care for veterans:
“It is caviar over kids,” Sen. Ron Wyden (D., Ore.) said Thursday. “It is Mar-a-Lago over the middle class.”
AHEM, READERS:
LOCAL NOTE:
FOR THE “NO KINGS” RALLIES, SAN DIEGO’S, “Donnie Don’t Surf” HIT 60,000 PEOPLE IN JUST THE MAIN LOCATION, WATERFRONT PARK, PER CAPITA, ONE OF THE LARGEST DEMONSTRATIONS IN THE US, HEAVY ON SCIENCE, HEALTH, YOUTH, OLDSTERS, AND LATINS:
